no one can read this i hope. writing with hands is more therapeutic couldn't spell that but this not thinking..more like thinking and writing it down instead of thinking of it makes . listen..breathe more think less. when i breathe slowly it indicates that i am indeed frustrated that i can't say the words fast enough or say them at all before my head hurts. i think this mean jacob is bringing me down and i don't like that but i do like it sat the same time hence why just me talking about it like this is getting it out of my head and able to think clearly. If you are reading this now it
s because you have already said the things you have wanted to say already. you're in a giant circle. have james or you read this later to understand when awake in morning. And since i am frustrated from not saying every thing you wanted you are getting tense and tensing up your muscles , jaw, you can't correct this later. ice bucket. nd thus goes back to the beginning. of why you are writing this down. This iso making me happy and also very tired. this making me frustrated though bc i can talk to myself listen all be well and james entered the room and I'm mad and tensing up because i didn't get go bc I'm procrastinating for an 50 min now and I'm anal but saying everything. and anal about need to saying what on my mind all the time this is hurting hands. headache from thinking and not typing. circle. words. parched. saying out loud my thoughts about circle does make me feel happy and sane and like the endorphins in my tired face now has come back lie I'm doing it more. also done. clearly your head and relax.. me saying that is making me procrastinate on getting my shoes on but i have a logical (ha! logically explanation about it) time! I should write down the thoughts in-between what I want to say. tim. so i don't get mad and head explosion at myself. ok? :)
Getting ice right now and the time is now 2:27am we started it at 9:30 wow. .Still getting it on.. with jacob's gurl.
2:31
text brian for cheaper price bc ( i like this thinkning typing it helps clear my head like I've said over again. talk to sophia? face time unless she's asleep. mom txt? brain ha i always write. say words. say list not think thought.s brain (ha!) can not do multi functional ( 2 different thought at the same time bc words get in the way of how i want to speak of some many words. I'm writing like jesssica write now need to talk to her or text only when on this stuff and i know thats ab bad thing but need tell her how I feel.. Sorry about only wanting to do things while on molly not a bia. feel weird doing it with her w/o wouldn't get off. not attractive i feel bad for writing it but say. i think this might be my last entry bc body getting tired on hunched/ tense. arms. said all thoughts for another few mint. it's now been 2:35 going crazy with my mom brain needing to be correct all the time and make lists. head explosion. feeling . breathing deeply bc i am finally be happy in thinking and assaying the words i want to say. and thus the circle begins. Also i think it takes 10 min to fully go through the circle again before i feel needing to do that ice/walking thing again.
llama del ray makes me happy.
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