Prayers in the Saddest of Time Often lead to Happiness in the End

We will be in Delaware to see my cousin Leslie this Sunday. We need all the prayers we can get as she has many organs failing in her body and has staff infection on her heart. The doctors are saying she has days to a few weeks to live. We have been praying hard in my family, but I think a little extra prayer might just change her life. She is 53 and has three kids and husband. And I know she is too young to die.


Please God save this woman's life.

Amen, amen, amen.

Smile

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying? 
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

[instrumental interlude]

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying? 
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

My Hardest Praying Have Been Working

I wish he could have seen me crying through facebook. But if I were to tell him I was, I feel like he would hide away. I feel he can't take my weakness without getting angry or upset or running away and not speaking with me. No I can't tell him what I'm feeling even though I want to so badly. Like I use to. He will stay in Richmond and I will be left feeling broken and sad that he isn't here with me all the time. I have to stay positive and upbeat even when I feel so emotionally drained because if I show weakness or sadness or god forbid anger he will continue to ignore me like he has done several other times now. And that is truly sad and I am hurt by this. All I want is his love and support in sickness and in health, etc, etc.

All I can do now is taking my homeopathic pellets and pray to God deeply and often. He's the only one that will listen to me and sometimes talk back through helpful gestures through strangers and peers. And I know through praying to him all things are possible because I have witnessed these small miracles myself. Example: James showing up to my house after two long and dreadful weeks after losing hope he wouldn't come back, Lucy ceasing her cough, James coming over another day, James speaking to me when he was silent and I just prayed so hard and that prayer worked. It's not just luck, it truly is a miracle in the works. And Leslie- I have been praying very hard for her to live and to continue to get better and when the doctors said it would be a miracle if she made it so far-it was truly a miracle and she continues to grow stronger and she even woke up the other day! Now I will have to pray the hardest for her to grow so strong that she will be able to leave the hospital unscathed. My prayers have gone between prayer for her and her family to praying for my family and mine and James's relationships to heal completely.

All I Need is a Helping Hand- God is with me Now.

"Why does my heart not quiver when you are near, but when you are away it feels like a thousand shattered pieces of glass cascading down my face."










The message I sent on FaceBook:

"I miss you so much. I wish you came this weekend. That would've made my week go by so much faster

I don't like when your not here and when you do not respond

it's so much harder getting through the week."

And yet he does not respond and it hurts me a little more inside. I've been able to dull the pain but sometimes I wish he wouldn't lie and say he actually was leaving, when instead he does not. I wish he would say what he feels. I wish that he would say anything to me. But silence prevails. I miss him and I hate him for giving me so much grief when all I need the most right now is love and support.