I feel weird. I feel like nothing today. I slept for 13 hours and I think that is why my balance is off, my reactions to timing is off. I want to drive somewhere and do something, but I don't know where to go. I have been slouched over in my bed for the past week and even though I had school, when I came home that's where I went to. I am going out on wednesday and have a Skype chat with Katrina tomorrow, so all feels like it is going according to plan. Also, it is crazy that I am typing right now without looking at the keyboard, but then the moment I say that I am doubting myself and my fingers miss the right letter. I just have to not think about it and all will be good. I want to read again like I used to, and I want to edit my photographs from forever ago. And all this space is letting me do what I want, which I love. I felt as if when I was with him I didn't get anything done. I just played video games all the time. And now that I am alone I feel much happier. More free. More wanting to eat food all the time now and smile more and talk to people more. It's weird that I never noticed that when I was with him. Maybe I felt as if I was caged in even though he gave me everything.

And now I feel like I am going to cry because the person I thought I could trust is thinking that I am making her do things- which is not true. She can do or not do whatever, and truth is she often has her way. So I find this conversation to be Bull Shit and that maybe she is talking behind my back to you know who.