Head aches. Hot and cold. Who cares anymore? No friends. No one to console in. Everyone in their own worlds. I want someone to care for me. I don't like being alone. I want someone to hold me tight and tell me everything's going to be alright. Not telling me through a text or telling me to do it myself. When I'm sick I like to be babied. Cause when I'm not I know I have to man up and go through life anyhow but when I'm sick I want to put my life on hold just for a moment.
I can't focus on my homework. I can't focus on anything except for my headaches and negative people and people that won't show up or call me for a short hello how are you phone call. All negative things are swirling in my mind and it is bugging me that I am letting myself do that.
I am angry at people I hardly even know. I was trying to hang out and to better know this person but they have made an excuse every single time I've tried to hang out. And part of me knows I shouldn't think or act like that but the other half is asking what did I do or not do? Why should I even bother texting him anymore? If he's not willing to make an appearance in my life. He says ya we will get together but it has never happened. It's been over a month and school is in session and there is homework to be done. And he says he's busy. But the funny thing is when I asked how his day went he says he's been at his buddies house getting drunk or playing video games or celebrating a friends birthday. When I'm sure he could have hung out with me one of those times he decided to get drunk since he's he doesn't drink that often. But lately it has been often and it's pissing me off. I barely know him from a hole in a wall and been trying to know him better as fucking friends but he i feel like he ignores me and I don't know why. He replies days later. So if he wants to talk to me he can start the damn conversation. Cause I'm done trying to be nice when I get no love back.
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